The saying you have to teach people how to treat you once proved itself to be true. I once allowed how other people treated me, or the lack of people’s presence in my life to effect me. It would tear me up if I was told one thing but their actions proved something different. I would often reflect on myself to see if something I did would cause them to lie to me.
Often times as a little girl, people made promises to me & I would sit around and wait for those promises to be fulfilled to no avail. My heart would literally be crushed. I would sit around quiet replaying their words in my head. This eventually spilled over into my adulthood. It would effect me to the point that I would cry myself to sleep & hold resentment in my heart. It caused me to have trust issues. Almost had the mentality of I will believe it whenI see it.
One day I came to myself. I made up in my mind to not to change the way I reacted to the situations . These situations seemed so unfair. I also chose to have no expectations of those people who proved themselves untrustworthy. If I didn’t expect anything from them, then I wouldn’t be hurt by them not showing up.
Some of these people are people that I give 100% of myself to. I would do anything for them. At ome point, I told myself if I do these things for them that they will finally love me enough, to at least show up for me. Boy was I wrong…didn’t help at all. Rejection will make you think that you can buy love & that is the farthest thing from the truth. I came to realize that although I was keeping it 100, they only had the capacity to love me & show up for me at 25 percent. I wasn’t the only one with issues & I had to love to love them regardless of how their issues made me feel.
God opened my eyes to see that I didn’t have to shield myself by not expecting anything from them. Just as God loves us right where we are, we have to love people where they are. We have to learn to allow God to truly minister to us so that we are able to embrace people where they are & still manage to keep it 100. There is always purpose behind the pain….