Growing up I always knew there was something different about me. I always wanted to feel what the grown ups felt. I wanted the more of God even before I knew what that meant.
I grew up in a traditional Baptist Church. I sang in the choir, was on the Sunbeam choir, & attended Sunday School every Sunday. I would sit in church looking around wondering if this was “it”
I lived with my grandmother(she kept me because my mom had me at a young age & she didn’t want her to take me) who had been a Baptist all her life. I would go to my mom’s house on the weekends & visit her church. Even at the age of 12, I recognized that their church was different from the church I grew up in. They even allowed the children to participate in feeling “it” unlike the church I grew up in (guess they thought we would be playing). One weekend, I went to a youth rap session at my mom’s church & everyone started speaking some funny language. I had heard them do it in church & heard my mom do it but now I got to see it in a more intimate atmosphere. They continued to pray & one of the ministers asked if everyone was saved(I knew I was)& if everyone had the Holy Spirit….I thought to myself that must be the language. I told them I wanted “it” & they prayed with me until I received it that same night
I went back to my church & ironically the teaching in our youth bible study was about the Holy Spirit. I was excited because I was going to be able to share what God had blessed me with. I told my teacher whatI had received & she immediately told me I couldn’t possibly have the Holy Spirit because of her own beliefs. That statement crushed me & made me feel ostracized in the class.
Fast forward a few years, my family joined another ministry. I loved the church & the fact that they too allowed the youth to have “it”. I eventually began to recognize the voice of God speaking to me. I realized that I had a calling on my life at the age of 14 or 15. One day as I became an adult, I went to my Pastor & told him what I knew God called me to do. He told me that he wouldn’t tell me what God did or didnt say but I couldn’t do it there because their teaching is that a woman can not preach. I remained in that church allowing them to reject my calling & eventually rejecting it myself. I pretended for about 12 more years that I never knew I was called. I allowed the rejection of man to cause me to reject who I knew God had called me to be. See rejection had been apart of my life so much so that I too took on the characteristics & started rejecting God, the one who had never failed me.
What has God said to you, that you’ve pushed away because of others or because you just aren’t ready?
Don’t allow the seed of rejection to change you so that you start being the rejector…until next time, be blessed!!